I'M HERE

I'm here, a tad down but far from over. Give me a bit more time, Universe, and I'll be an everyday visitor once again.

XO

Just When I Thought I'd Heard It All...

Now I've heard/seen everything...just interviewed a chic named ''Benji''...ok, fine, until she said her parents smoked too much pot while her mom was pregnant and that's why she is named Benji. Good times, baby. Now tell me...should I hire her?

Side note...my man is kicking some serious ass remodeling our house... Mike's work is as beautiful as poetry. I still can't believe it's ours, and we are just getting started. God bless you, Dad. I love you forever, through all space and time.

This Week's Misc.

holy shit's of shit's...calling people like crazzzzy who are answering my classified ad...as of 7/2, i'm aidless - don't ask, i'll tell the story later.

anaphylactic reaction to i.v. penicillin yesterday...tons of fun...2 hours to get a pic line in, no shark graft until infection is mia. trying new med tomorrow, wish me luck.

sorry for the poor form, exhausted. love to you, Universe, praying about the oil spill.

Current Conditionss

I never remember being this tired. I made it through Father's Day, only to have my only current staff person quit, be told by Dr. Levine the graft on my ankle didn't take and I have to go back to the O.R. asap,and my infectious disease doc called me himself to tell me I have a UTI involving the bacteria pseudomonas, requiring 10 days of I.V. antibiotics. The worst part is I'm so fucking tired from being sick that coping with all of this horse shit is next to impossible.

Fuck, I'm tired. Interviewing potential staff, O.R. trips as common as Starbucks drive thru's, fatigue from another world. Wish me luck.

Biography

I had to write a brief autobio for tvlesson.com. Although I wrote a memoir, I always find writing my bio difficult...I feel no matter what my word choices are, I always end up sounding like the next poster child for the disabled community. Anyway, here it is. Tell me what you think, and please, be harsh.

Amy Alexander recently authored her first book, “Life At Breakneck Speed’’ and is in the process of attracting a publisher. The title of her memoir comes from Amy’s life experience of living with a spinal cord injury from a car accident at the age of twenty-one that left her paralyzed from the shoulders down. Making a promise to herself to live a life without regret, she focuses on squeezing every drop of vivacity out of each moment. She believes her writing can help other’s find the ease and pure joy that comes by making this level of awareness the staple of a person’s daily diet of life. Paralysis comes in many forms – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, and her writing relates to all.

Amy has made her home in Upstate New York and is lucky enough to be surrounded by family and friends dear to her. She is heavily involved in The Amy Alexander Foundation For Spinal Cord Injuries and she blogs daily on www.anexpressedperspective.blogspot.com. An additional element for Amy in her writing journey is to make her blog, ‘’An Expressed Perspective,’’ a column in a regular publication, offering advice through experience of the “paralyzing’’ circumstances anyone can find themselves in throughout life. Her website Spinal Times at www.spinaltimes.org has more information about Amy’s foundation, her writing and her inspirational speaking. Keep your eyes wide and your ears open; this is a woman that is here to stay and is just getting started.

Father's Day

I cannot say how glad I am this damn day is almost over. My 1st Father's Day without my dad. I didn't think it would come...how could it, possibly, without him? But it did. Another affirmation that life is for the living. Mike and I BBQ'd at my brother's with his family and it was nice. If I could get through the thought of ''Is Dad okay?", I could deal with the ache of missing him so badly.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. We knew each other well so I know it's no surprise to you I've turned your house upside down and inside out. And I know when it's all done, you'll say, as you always did after I bulldozed through your resistance and did it anyway, ''Hey, pal, that looks pretty darn good.''

I love you, Dad. I miss you more than I can say.

Happy and Sad

My niece Jamie had a horse show today and she sits in a saddle as if born in one. At the age of eleven, she is already a very accomplished rider. Her aunt is proud beyond words.

I've been heavy hearted these last few days...Father's Day is fast approaching and I don't know what to do. The thought that I can't go into dad's living room where he'd be sitting in his blue recliner chair and say ''Happy Father's Day, Dad!'', to which he would reply ''Thank you, pal'' fills me with a sadness so strong I wonder at times how I will survive through it. Breaking my neck was easier than this. I still can't believe he isn't here. Where the fuck is he, anyway, and is he okay?

It's pouring rain outside tonight, matching the tears pouring down my face as they soak the top of my tank top. I will just have to keep breathing in and out and say that is enough to work on for now. Even my extreme Type A personality will recognize this as accomplishment enough right now.